Other words for vagina that you can't say on television

Some of my favorite people (who happen to be feminists) tend to use "bad" words on national television....

like Stephen Colbert on the Today Show this morning...



and Jane Fonda this Valentine's Day...



Why does this only happen to Meredith Vera?

COLBERT

Below are pics of my visit to see Stephen Colbert on March 4th.

Here's what happened:

We wait outside the studio in Hell's Kitchen (yes, Hell's Kitchen) for 20 min, then we are let in to a waiting room after we go through a security check (it is Hell's Kitchen). The security guy sees my Colbert book and says, "Oh, I see you brought your book, but there will be no time for autographs." No autographs!? More on that later... We wait in this small room for over an hour with 100 people in it. Packed like sardines. We meet this guy who says his cousin is married to Stephen, and he lives in Berkeley now, but his family is from SC. He says he manages small bands on the West Coast and went to high school with people on SNL. I said, like who? He mentions Andy Samburg... I don't believe this guy. He is hitting on my friend even though his girlfriend is there playing on her iphone completely oblivious. He has on a Met Art Museum button, and my friend asks what rooms he went to (we went there earlier that day too). He says he loves the Met, but his girlfriend is more beautiful than the paintings (gag). She isn't paying attention. After he is finished lying to us and flirting with my friend, he tells his girlfriend he is "completely devoted" to her. Yeah ok....

The stage manager comes out and tell us we are about to go in, there are 3 guests tonight, what to do and what not to do, and that Stephen will come out for a few minutes and take questions out-of-character from us. I decide to ask him about Feminists for Colbert the blog the Women's and Gender Studies department started to woo Colbert to see us/mention us, which he did not, even though we sent him a t-shirt :(.

Colbert comes out, and is super nice and humble. People ask him questions about things on the set (like the microwave he actually stole from Bill O'Reilly). The guy from above has his hand raised, and so do I. Time is running out. While Stephen is answering someone's question, I turn to my friend Allison, who said guy was hitting on, and I am complaining about this dud who is supposedly related to Stephen "sees him at the 4th of July Family Barbecue in Charleston, and can ask him questions anytime. Stephen sees my face, of anger and interprets it as "she is mad at me for not calling on her." So, he says, "I see you. I am going to call on you, don't be mad." So, he does, and I ask about Feminists for Colbert, he has never heard of us, and wants to know if the site is "safe for work." I tell him it is and he should check it out and give love to the College of Charleston Women's and Gender Studies Program.

Then, taping starts. (you can watch the show here.) You can't see me or hear me, but he shook my hand at the end, but they edited it out for time. I'll cry later about that... Then, we are filing out to leave, sad about not meeting him, but the security guy summons us over. Then the stage manager comes and says, you have a letter? We produce the letter and go backstage to meet him and take photos with him. We tell him where we are from and he says he is jealous of us going back to SC (well, I went back to NC, but close enough). He is SOOO nice, signs our books, and take photos with us. Plus, I partially hugged him!!!!

NOTE the amount of joy in my face in these photos:












In my book, he wrote: "To Taylor: Be Brave!! Stephen Colbert"

Hot Pocket

This is a total cheater post, but watching the latest episode of FOTC made me think of this. Jim Gaffigan was in it, and the man almost caused me to die this summer. After the kids went to sleep at Governor's School, the counselors would watch TV. One night we watched Jim Gaffigan on Comedy Central talk about Hot Pockets for 10 minutes and I almost couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard. (It's kind of important that you have actually eaten a Hot Pockets before) Enjoy...

FOTC

I don't know how I left this off my happy ending notes, but the best show on television, Flight of the Concords is back for its second season. The only sad thing about this is that I lack HBO, but I do have friends with HBO who let me mooch off of them and watch it while they cook me breakfast--a very sweet deal. Here is my favorite song from last week's show...

Gregory Bateson and Rude Kids

January 12th marked the beginning of my second semester of grad school. Last semester went very well; however, this semester isn't starting off well...

Unlike last semester, my new TA class' material is challenging. Gone are the days of teaching 101, basic anthropology to eager little Freshman who look adoringly at me (maybe that was in my head?) as I explain how our ancestors traveled to Australia by boat. Now, I am the TA of a class teaching a defunct school of anthropology and using Gregory Bateson as the only member of the Culture and Personality school. Bateson's big contribution was systems' theory. Oh God, I hate thee. Basically, it's hard stuff. Bateson is a tough read. The kids don't get it. I look at their horror stricken faces as I explain (to the best of my ability, which is lacking) vague concepts and what they will have to do for their first paper.

What's worse? THE KIDS! Dear Lord, where did these seniors and juniors come from? They could give two shits to be there. It's an upper level anthro course, so I (mistakenly) assumed there would be mostly Anthropology majors. Alas, I was wrong. Very, very wrong. For seventy-five percent of them, this is there first anthro course, used to fill a perspective. I'm not all that familiar with the undergraduate degree requirements, but logic should inform them to take a 100-level class and not a 500-level class as a "perspective." They have no clue what anthropology is, and I am sad Bateson is their introduction. They will never read anything anthropological again. Hell, if Bateson were my introduction, I would be getting my PhD in history or something right now. Worse, is that unlike my little Freshman, they are older, some are older than I am. I would never tell a class my age, and I hope my strands of gray inflate my presumed age severely. They must be able to smell the fear of being the one to explain Bateson to them, think I am too young, or are just rude, because they challenge me and have their ipods on and text message while I am speaking. Well, three challenge me, and one had the ipod and did the text messaging.

Anyway, they challenged me on Bateson's theory of applying natural systems (the water cycle, blood sugar regulation,etc) to social systems. I quieted their screams of protest, and told the text messager/ipod listener to put it away. I am proud of myself for not publicly embarrassing them or saying mean things to them. Ugh they get to review me at the end, and I am pretty sure the professor thinks I am going to have a mental breakdown while teaching this class, so I don't want to push it.

In an unrelated note: what do first-year grad students do during the summer? There are no jobs because of budget cuts for research assistants in our department and SC's Gov School was canceled. I need a summer job! If not, I will be a Girl Scout camp counselor and I am NOT a fan of the outdoors. I am not that kind of anthropologist. If you are in need of a feminist anthropologists or know of a summer job, please let me know!

I'll end on happy notes: one more week of systems, then on to Nancy Scheper-Hughes and sexual repression among the Irish...a few of the kids like me and asked me about grrrl zines...it snowed 6 inches here Tuesday, January 20th!!!...I heart my Archaeological Theory professor who is feminist and an anthropological genius...my borderline homophobic brother actually read the David Sedaris book I gave him for Christmas (I gave Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim and Anthropology for Dummies to every member of my nuclear family), liked it and bought two more books by David...My paper on breastfeeding was accepted at Southeastern Women's Studies Association Conference and this will be the third time I have presented there.

At least Barbie has a job...

Before Christmas, my mother and I were in Target in the toy section. Being the wonderfully kind person that she is, my mother was looking for a present for a six year-old girl who visits her office for allergy shots. The little girl wanted a Bratz doll.

First, I was overwhelmed by the shear amount of pink in the aisle, but then, I noticed the dolls themselves. They look like 40 year-old women with an addiction to plastic surgery. They have huge faces, complete with huge eyes and lips, skimpy hair, and porn names like "Yasmin." Crazy. You can buy them dressed up like rockstars or punk girls--somewhere Kathleen Hanna is crying on the inside--or you can buy the male version of Bratz, appropriately named "Boyz Are Cool." But, the most distrubing Bratz item I saw was Chole and her mom. Geez Louise! It's basically the doll version of the Real Housewives of Orange County and their children. The mom looks about 20, as old as the daughter looks under all that make up, and both are decked out in short outfits that have matching cell phones. So, not only do little girls feel bad about themselves for not being able to look like these dolls, but moms can too! Guilt and Envy for the whole family!

I just kept repeating to my mother, "Chole and her mom!?" My mother argeed it was ridiculous, and added that she thought the Bratz dolls were ugly; nonetheless, she purchased the Bratz doll the six year-old requested. As we were leaving the ailse, I said, "At least Barbie has a job."

Preacher Livingston has the floor...

(one of the images I used for my lecture on gender--see 5)


So, here's what's been happening since I last blogged:

1. I turned 22.
2. I am going to see Colbert on March 3rd! This will be my first time in NYC and on an airplane. Yes, I have ZERO life experience.
3. It's EXTREMELY cold here. This morning we had snow flurries!
4. The kids I teach like me! One girl gave me a bag of candy because her sorority was giving them to faculty members with excellent leadership skills. That same day, another one asked my for a recommendation. They especially all like it when I draw on the board, because I cannot draw.
5. I have become a preacher... I lectured on gender yesterday with my friend and fellow TA Amelia. I spoke about how gender was performed using Judith Butler and children's commercials, the control of women's sexuality, and the origins of patriarchy. Towards the end of my part, when I was speaking about the control of women's sexuality, especially it's manifestations in the US in the forms of rape, the fear of rape, domestic violence, and eating disorders, I got a little preachy. Here's some things I said,"How are these controlling women's bodies? Well, I will actually take control of your body and sexuality and show you who is in charge, I will make you scared to go outside and walk without a man, that you will worry about where you go, what you wear, and about the wrong people who will be more likely statistically to rape you--as 80% of rapes are acquaintance rapes--beat you into submission and make you scared to go outside, and force you to conform to unrealistic ideals of beauty making you believe that you are so ugly that no one will ever want you...

Obviously, I got on a soapbox. In my head, I am going Taylor, calm down, stop, no one will listen to you if you preach. I eventually did calm down and present the patriarchy information somewhat calmly. But, I think I scared them. They never ask me questions when I lecture, but they do ask the other TAs, and I doubt that they don't ask questions because they understand and agree with everything I say. So, I need to work on sounding less preachy and more approachable...

A girl did come up after the lecture (not one the students whose grades I am responsible for, so I think it is a safe assumption she was telling the truth)and said she really enjoyed it, and that she was really interested in our material, so I urged her to take a Women's Studies course. She said that she definitely was going to. The professor for the class liked it too. He said we did a good job, and he was proud of us.