Taylored Opinions

Don't cry over spilt (breast) milk

2009-04-27T14:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I didn't actually spill breastmilk, but I did cry...

About 3 weeks ago, I presented at paper at SEWSA on biocultural (biology + culture) perspectives on breastfeeding. It focused on one evolutionary cost of not breastfeeding, precocious puberty (having your period before age 9 or developing breasts before age 8) and commented on ineffective public health campaigns that attempt to increase breastfeeding. It was well received. Many people asked questions and I felt great.

Flash forward to last Wednesday. The same paper was presented to my WMST seminar class who HATED it. They took offense to all the evolutionary stuff and couldn't believe that I, as a feminist, would include evolutionary perspectives. They asked me questions about lesbians and gay men who couldn't breastfeed. I explained that I wasn't advocating for all women or caregivers to breastfeed, just that those who want to face cultural barriers against doing so in public. They also complained about my stating the human breast was evolved for breastfeeding. Um, we are mammals? Evolution is a POPULATION based model, thus individual preferences don't matter fr the whole species (i.e. if you choose not to have children). Basically, I was so upset I snarkily replied to all they're comments that I would just toss all the evolution stuff because I didn't want to explain how evolution worked in my paper.

Well, that took made my paper substantially shorter than the 20 pages I originally wrote and the 18 page suggestion. Compounded with the other two papers I had to write this weekend, re-writing that breastfeeding paper was going to be difficult. Come Saturday night, I had one paragraph of my former paper that was salvageable, meaning I was going to need to write 13 pages tomorrow and re-research the topic. So feeling overwhelmed and frustrated and angry, I cried. And while crying wrote an "I have abandoned all hope on this paper and I have no clue what I am supposed to do" email to my professor. Real smart, Taylor. Real smart

The elusive grad school meltdown, which had escaped me all first semester finally hit me with one week on school to go. GREAT.

Anyway, I pulled myself together, and on Sunday, I magically pulled 12 pages of text, 4 pages of images, and 3 pages of citations out of my research on a completely different topic from the one I began with. Is it a good paper? Who knows. It's finished; it's passable; and I am slow getting over my perfectionism. Well, trying to...

Other words for vagina that you can't say on television

2009-03-19T13:58:00.001-07:00

Some of my favorite people (who happen to be feminists) tend to use "bad" words on national television....

like Stephen Colbert on the Today Show this morning...

and Jane Fonda this Valentine's Day...

Why does this only happen to Meredith Vera?

COLBERT

2009-03-14T08:56:00.000-07:00

Below are pics of my visit to see Stephen Colbert on March 4th.

Here's what happened:

We wait outside the studio in Hell's Kitchen (yes, Hell's Kitchen) for 20 min, then we are let in to a waiting room after we go through a security check (it is Hell's Kitchen). The security guy sees my Colbert book and says, "Oh, I see you brought your book, but there will be no time for autographs." No autographs!? More on that later... We wait in this small room for over an hour with 100 people in it. Packed like sardines. We meet this guy who says his cousin is married to Stephen, and he lives in Berkeley now, but his family is from SC. He says he manages small bands on the West Coast and went to high school with people on SNL. I said, like who? He mentions Andy Samburg... I don't believe this guy. He is hitting on my friend even though his girlfriend is there playing on her iphone completely oblivious. He has on a Met Art Museum button, and my friend asks what rooms he went to (we went there earlier that day too). He says he loves the Met, but his girlfriend is more beautiful than the paintings (gag). She isn't paying attention. After he is finished lying to us and flirting with my friend, he tells his girlfriend he is "completely devoted" to her. Yeah ok....

The stage manager comes out and tell us we are about to go in, there are 3 guests tonight, what to do and what not to do, and that Stephen will come out for a few minutes and take questions out-of-character from us. I decide to ask him about Feminists for Colbert the blog the Women's and Gender Studies department started to woo Colbert to see us/mention us, which he did not, even though we sent him a t-shirt :(.

Colbert comes out, and is super nice and humble. People ask him questions about things on the set (like the microwave he actually stole from Bill O'Reilly). The guy from above has his hand raised, and so do I. Time is running out. While Stephen is answering someone's question, I turn to my friend Allison, who said guy was hitting on, and I am complaining about this dud who is supposedly related to Stephen "sees him at the 4th of July Family Barbecue in Charleston, and can ask him questions anytime. Stephen sees my face, of anger and interprets it as "she is mad at me for not calling on her." So, he says, "I see you. I am going to call on you, don't be mad." So, he does, and I ask about Feminists for Colbert, he has never heard of us, and wants to know if the site is "safe for work." I tell him it is and he should check it out and give love to the College of Charleston Women's and Gender Studies Program.

Then, taping starts. (you can watch the show here.) You can't see me or hear me, but he shook my hand at the end, but they edited it out for time. I'll cry later about that... Then, we are filing out to leave, sad about not meeting him, but the security guy summons us over. Then the stage manager comes and says, you have a letter? We produce the letter and go backstage to meet him and take photos with him. We tell him where we are from and he says he is jealous of us going back to SC (well, I went back to NC, but close enough). He is SOOO nice, signs our books, and take photos with us. Plus, I partially hugged him!!!!

NOTE the amount of joy in my face in these photos:

In my book, he wrote: "To Taylor: Be Brave!! Stephen Colbert"

Hot Pocket

2009-02-14T18:33:00.000-08:00

This is a total cheater post, but watching the latest episode of FOTC made me think of this. Jim Gaffigan was in it, and the man almost caused me to die this summer. After the kids went to sleep at Governor's School, the counselors would watch TV. One night we watched Jim Gaffigan on Comedy Central talk about Hot Pockets for 10 minutes and I almost couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard. (It's kind of important that you have actually eaten a Hot Pockets before) Enjoy...

FOTC

2009-02-01T14:04:00.000-08:00

I don't know how I left this off my happy ending notes, but the best show on television, Flight of the Concords is back for its second season. The only sad thing about this is that I lack HBO, but I do have friends with HBO who let me mooch off of them and watch it while they cook me breakfast--a very sweet deal. Here is my favorite song from last week's show...

Gregory Bateson and Rude Kids

2009-01-31T16:44:00.000-08:00

January 12th marked the beginning of my second semester of grad school. Last semester went very well; however, this semester isn't starting off well...

Unlike last semester, my new TA class' material is challenging. Gone are the days of teaching 101, basic anthropology to eager little Freshman who look adoringly at me (maybe that was in my head?) as I explain how our ancestors traveled to Australia by boat. Now, I am the TA of a class teaching a defunct school of anthropology and using Gregory Bateson as the only member of the Culture and Personality school. Bateson's big contribution was systems' theory. Oh God, I hate thee. Basically, it's hard stuff. Bateson is a tough read. The kids don't get it. I look at their horror stricken faces as I explain (to the best of my ability, which is lacking) vague concepts and what they will have to do for their first paper.

What's worse? THE KIDS! Dear Lord, where did these seniors and juniors come from? They could give two shits to be there. It's an upper level anthro course, so I (mistakenly) assumed there would be mostly Anthropology majors. Alas, I was wrong. Very, very wrong. For seventy-five percent of them, this is there first anthro course, used to fill a perspective. I'm not all that familiar with the undergraduate degree requirements, but logic should inform them to take a 100-level class and not a 500-level class as a "perspective." They have no clue what anthropology is, and I am sad Bateson is their introduction. They will never read anything anthropological again. Hell, if Bateson were my introduction, I would be getting my PhD in history or something right now. Worse, is that unlike my little Freshman, they are older, some are older than I am. I would never tell a class my age, and I hope my strands of gray inflate my presumed age severely. They must be able to smell the fear of being the one to explain Bateson to them, think I am too young, or are just rude, because they challenge me and have their ipods on and text message while I am speaking. Well, three challenge me, and one had the ipod and did the text messaging.

Anyway, they challenged me on Bateson's theory of applying natural systems (the water cycle, blood sugar regulation,etc) to social systems. I quieted their screams of protest, and told the text messager/ipod listener to put it away. I am proud of myself for not publicly embarrassing them or saying mean things to them. Ugh they get to review me at the end, and I am pretty sure the professor thinks I am going to have a mental breakdown while teaching this class, so I don't want to push it.

In an unrelated note: what do first-year grad students do during the summer? There are no jobs because of budget cuts for research assistants in our department and SC's Gov School was canceled. I need a summer job! If not, I will be a Girl Scout camp counselor and I am NOT a fan of the outdoors. I am not that kind of anthropologist. If you are in need of a feminist anthropologists or know of a summer job, please let me know!

I'll end on happy notes: one more week of systems, then on to Nancy Scheper-Hughes and sexual repression among the Irish...a few of the kids like me and asked me about grrrl zines...it snowed 6 inches here Tuesday, January 20th!!!...I heart my Archaeological Theory professor who is feminist and an anthropological genius...my borderline homophobic brother actually read the David Sedaris book I gave him for Christmas (I gave Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim and Anthropology for Dummies to every member of my nuclear family), liked it and bought two more books by David...My paper on breastfeeding was accepted at Southeastern Women's Studies Association Conference and this will be the third time I have presented there.

At least Barbie has a job...

2008-12-31T13:45:00.000-08:00

Before Christmas, my mother and I were in Target in the toy section. Being the wonderfully kind person that she is, my mother was looking for a present for a six year-old girl who visits her office for allergy shots. The little girl wanted a Bratz doll.

First, I was overwhelmed by the shear amount of pink in the aisle, but then, I noticed the dolls themselves. They look like 40 year-old women with an addiction to plastic surgery. They have huge faces, complete with huge eyes and lips, skimpy hair, and porn names like "Yasmin." Crazy. You can buy them dressed up like rockstars or punk girls--somewhere Kathleen Hanna is crying on the inside--or you can buy the male version of Bratz, appropriately named "Boyz Are Cool." But, the most distrubing Bratz item I saw was Chole and her mom. Geez Louise! It's basically the doll version of the Real Housewives of Orange County and their children. The mom looks about 20, as old as the daughter looks under all that make up, and both are decked out in short outfits that have matching cell phones. So, not only do little girls feel bad about themselves for not being able to look like these dolls, but moms can too! Guilt and Envy for the whole family!

I just kept repeating to my mother, "Chole and her mom!?" My mother argeed it was ridiculous, and added that she thought the Bratz dolls were ugly; nonetheless, she purchased the Bratz doll the six year-old requested. As we were leaving the ailse, I said, "At least Barbie has a job."

Preacher Livingston has the floor...

2008-11-21T15:33:00.000-08:00

(one of the images I used for my lecture on gender--see 5)

So, here's what's been happening since I last blogged:

1. I turned 22.
2. I am going to see Colbert on March 3rd! This will be my first time in NYC and on an airplane. Yes, I have ZERO life experience.
3. It's EXTREMELY cold here. This morning we had snow flurries!
4. The kids I teach like me! One girl gave me a bag of candy because her sorority was giving them to faculty members with excellent leadership skills. That same day, another one asked my for a recommendation. They especially all like it when I draw on the board, because I cannot draw.
5. I have become a preacher... I lectured on gender yesterday with my friend and fellow TA Amelia. I spoke about how gender was performed using Judith Butler and children's commercials, the control of women's sexuality, and the origins of patriarchy. Towards the end of my part, when I was speaking about the control of women's sexuality, especially it's manifestations in the US in the forms of rape, the fear of rape, domestic violence, and eating disorders, I got a little preachy. Here's some things I said,"How are these controlling women's bodies? Well, I will actually take control of your body and sexuality and show you who is in charge, I will make you scared to go outside and walk without a man, that you will worry about where you go, what you wear, and about the wrong people who will be more likely statistically to rape you--as 80% of rapes are acquaintance rapes--beat you into submission and make you scared to go outside, and force you to conform to unrealistic ideals of beauty making you believe that you are so ugly that no one will ever want you...

Obviously, I got on a soapbox. In my head, I am going Taylor, calm down, stop, no one will listen to you if you preach. I eventually did calm down and present the patriarchy information somewhat calmly. But, I think I scared them. They never ask me questions when I lecture, but they do ask the other TAs, and I doubt that they don't ask questions because they understand and agree with everything I say. So, I need to work on sounding less preachy and more approachable...

A girl did come up after the lecture (not one the students whose grades I am responsible for, so I think it is a safe assumption she was telling the truth)and said she really enjoyed it, and that she was really interested in our material, so I urged her to take a Women's Studies course. She said that she definitely was going to. The professor for the class liked it too. He said we did a good job, and he was proud of us.

Are you ready for some football?

2008-10-12T14:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning I received a text message from my friend Amelia about the state of things in downtown Chapel Hill. Apparently, there were waves of people in various stages of dressiness in blue and white. She is from Maine, so she was alarmed. I reassured here that this was just football in the South, and concluded my text with, "Welcome to the South!" Later, when I ventured outside, I was struck by the shear number of people here, not so much by their dress. But, I did take notice of what she was telling me about 45 year-old mothers of college girls in their baby blue and white best, heels, and pearls to watch football and their husbands in khakis and baby blue polos or searsucker(it's a little late in the year for that isn't it?. It's weird, but it is something I am accustomed too. What I am not accustomed to is people tailgating in parking garages here. What is that?! As I walk to the library, I am struck by the number of people in the bottom of parking garages eating Bojangles chicken from their trunks and tailgates and by the people on the top of the parking garage GRILLING OUT with their tents set up. Very strange. There is amble green space here, so I don't know why they choose to tailgate there, but now I have an idea. Taking the bus back from downtown, I noticed all those well-dressed college parents in green spaces and parking LOTS. You have to be a member of Carolina Livery (whatever that is), a fraternity/sorority, or pay for a special event parking pass to park in these traditional tailgating spaces. Incidentally, they also have McCain/Palin stickers of the back of their car...and there are a lot of them, so I am guessing they don't live in Orange County, which votes and pulls for baby blue. Those in the parking garage are not as well dressed. They just have on school t-shirts and jeans. Apparently, where you get to tailgate depends on your socioeconomic status...

I actually hate football days here. I do not care about ACC football (the district UNC plays in). I am an SEC fan (hard football and Southern football). So, this may be influenced by that, but I get really pissed off about football game days. They always happen on Saturday, so if I have any errands to run, I better do it on Sunday or Friday because I will not be able to unload my items from my car by parking in the parking garage near my house, because it is reserved for "event pass football fans only," and if you park there, your car will be towed. AND I cannot leave my parking garage to go somewhere in my car because I will not have a space to park when I get back because MY parking garage where I pay $350 to park allows those "event parking pass" people to park there and if the garage is full,tough cookies, even though you pay to park there. So, then you have to drive around and fight masses of people crossing intersections, cops telling you which way to go, and road closures to find another space to park where you will not be towed. I did this last Saturday. Something just doesn't seem right about that to me. So, they next day, when you finally get to run your errands, you car will have beer cans and trash around it from those "event parking pass" people. Oh, I love them.

While continuing my anger-spree against rich white people, let me know address hipsters. Today, while coming back from the library, I saw this group of about 10 teenage hipsters. They were being their normal hipster selves--being "weird" and "ironic." I noticed their aesthetic: torn jeans, black hair with patches of blond, girl jeans, converse tennis shoes, hoodies, the usual. I just laughed. These kids think they are so cool. I just wanted to tell them the subculture they were modeling themselves on was commodified 30 years ago. If you bought that outfit at H&M or Hot Topic in the mall, you ain't hard.

Politics

2008-10-02T11:33:00.001-07:00

Since my last post was so long, I decided to just post videos and images I thought were funny with just a few words for context. Enjoy!

Sarah Palin's Facebook Profile. You can click on it to make it bigger.

A photo of McCain by Jill Greenberg. This is an extra from her photshoot of him for the cover of Atlantic Monthly. She photoshoped in the text and lipstick. This is one of a few she did and some are MUCH worse. She posted them on her website (now taken down) and received death threats because of them AND was not paid for the photoshoot.

I heart Tina Fey

In case you missed it and need 90 minutes shaved down to 10. My friends made a drinking game out of every time she said "maverick." They probably would have consumed more alcohol had they included everytime she winked at the camera and didn't actually answer the question or just got information wrong. My Grandad said the media was calling her "Hurricane Sarah category 6" (Bless his heart, he watches FOX News). He asked if I like her (I think that answer is clear from this post), I said I didn't because I don't vote for people who want to oppress me and make rape victims pay for their rape kits and have their rapists' babies.

Intro and Grad School: By the Numbers

2008-09-18T19:54:00.000-07:00

Intro to this blog thing:

I moved to Chapel Hill from Charleston, SC about one month ago. I planned on starting this blog then, but grad school keeps you busy. Anyway, I started this blog as a way to keep in touch with people (because I hate Facebook--it's scary) and let everyone in SC and whoever else cares enough to spend their time reading my blog know what's going on in my life...so here goes

Grad School By the Numbers:
Here's a recap in numbers and a few letters of what I have experienced in the last month:

2.6 billion: the endowment of UNC Chapel Hill (does CofC even have an endowment? I think not)
28,136: total number of students at UNC Chapel Hill
8,177: number of those students who are graduate or professional students
1,000: the approximate number of pages I read per week (in addition to the 25 books above, I also have numerous articles to read)
839.38: dollar amount of "student fees" at UNC; what's that include? football tickets and basketball tickets, which I will never use
816: the amount of money I get paid every two weeks for being a TA and for thinking (it's nice)
729: acres of campus at UNC compared with 4 at the College of Charleston
169: students in my TA lecture class
91.5: radio number of NPR in Chapel Hill; I heart NPR and I especially enjoy "This American Life," "A Prairie Home Companion," and "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" (apparently grad school has turned me into a old lady)
80: the temperature of my apartment usually--no central heat and air; I made a promise to myself that I will never live without the best invention ever--air conditioning--again
71: the age of my anthro theory and ethnography teacher, who I love. This man knows EVERYONE in anthropology! He knew Clifford Geertz, was lost in the mountains of NC with Margaret Mead, met Malinowski, and Cora DuBois was his graduate school professor. He was present of the AAA (American Anthropology Assocaition), and was awarded the Boas Award in 2002 by them. I want to be taken under his wing.
60: students in my recitation classes (I lead discussion, which has only been clarifying material and actually teaching them...)
37: the age of the oldest member of my cohort
30: minutes it takes me to walk to class; most of which is uphill
21: my age, which makes me feel inadequate considering the average age of my cohort is 28
14: the size of my cohort, which is very big
12- number of times I thought I would breakdown (I haven't yet)
10: the number of orientations I have attended in the past month...I still don't know what the hell is going on
9: people with Master's Degree in my cohort
6: people married/with significant others in mycohort
5: total number of people in my TA office, which is actually 5 desks in a room decorated with LOL cat print outs with anthropological sayings. The one above my desk says, "We is alienated from our labor" and has a picture of a cat attacking a CPU with a screwdriver. I also have been bequeathed a Che poster by the previous desk owner, so my area is very Marxist, and students who come to my office hours I am sure suspect I may be a Communist
3: recitation classes I have; all on Monday; the number of classes I have; the number of hours one class lasts; the steps away I am from "Papa Boas": me:Peacock: DuBois: Boas
2: the number of times the "patriarchy got me" according to my 71 year-old theory teacher because I have a first name that is a last name. He actually called me by my last name when asking me to read a question aloud, startled because I realized after 10 seconds he was talking to me, I said, "Wow, it's been a long time since I was called by my last name." He thought my last name was my first and told me I could Psychoanalyze him during the break (we were covering Freud) for using my last name. I said it was no big deal, since I did have two last names, one for a first name and one for a last name. He said, "yeah, the patriarchy got you twice" (he knows of my feminist identity)
1: year I have to wait to move into an apartment with Bravo (seriously, are there no gay men or women on this campus?! 4 ESPNs and NO Bravo?Also, the time I have to wait until the reading load lightens and "operation bootcamp"- pushing you to the brinks to discover if grad school is for you; what I have affectionately named year 1 in grad school, some call it CORE year because we have two CORE classes (Theory and Ecology and Evolution)
0: extracurricular activities. This is the first time since 6th grade where I am not involved in something outside school. If feels weird, but I have NO t free time.
P+: the grade on my first ever grad school paper for the 71 year-old theory teacher. the grading scale is H (high pass), P (pass-what usually everyone gets), L (low pass, 3 of these and you are OUT), F (fail--as in you fail at life and grad school) We had to meet with him individually to discuss our papers. I ALMOST cried. But, that's a good grade, you are thinking. I almost cried (we are talking voice cracking, squeezing tear ducts here) because he validated me. The rockstar said I did a very good job and I was above where I needed to be, and aboved some of my cohorts. I said, while holding back tears, "Thank you, that means a lot especially since I am the youngest." "You are?," he said. "Yes, I just graduated in May." He told me how he was the youngest in his cohort too and how he never spoke in class (I speak in class, though feel like an idiot afterwards), so I was doing better than he did. And, I am sure a tiny bit of the almost crying came from the fact that I wanted that H (which no one got one, only H-) because I am a perfectionist, but I am working on it.

So, in these few weeks of grad school, a lot has happened. I have read an obscene amount of material, made four friends, am coping with the fact that I actually do belong here, even though I have questioned it often, and I am learning that it is OK to be a P+ student or even a P student, but I still shoot for the Hs.